Yost Speaks Out Against World Peace

On September 16, 2011, [Ron] Artest's name was officially changed to Metta World Peace. "Metta" is his first name, and "World Peace" is his surname. "Changing my name was meant to inspire and bring youth together all around the world," World Peace said in a statement released after the name change court hearing. His publicist, Courtney Barnes, said that World Peace chose Metta as his first name because it is a traditional Buddhist word that means loving kindness and friendliness towards all.

Wikipedia entry for Los Angeles Lakers star Metta World Peace

Well, the Academy Awards were Sunday night and I liked a lot of the movies that won. I thought it was a good year for movies.

But one of my favorite movies of last year – one I just thought was terrific – got completely snubbed by the Academy. It didn't even get a nomination for anything. I can see why the films that they chose won the awards that they did, but I want someone to please explain to me how the Academy left Magic Mike out of the picture for Best Picture.

I mean, I loved that movie. When it came out, I went and watched it three times in the theater the first week and then I can't tell you how many times after that. It really had a strange and profound effect on me. I can't put my finger on it, but it just moved me in a special way. I just felt powerfully drawn to that movie and, the day it came out on DVD, I bought a copy and now I watch it all the time.

Like I said, I don't want to take anything away from the Academy, but, I mean, how can you watch a movie like that and not get really excited about it? It's a mystery to me.

A couple of years ago, NBA basketball star Ron Artest went through a spiritual awakening. He donated much of his salary to mental health charities and other worthy causes that year, and he changed his name to Metta World Peace to honor the Buddhist tradition of love and kindness towards all.

It's really refreshing to see a pro athlete be such a positive role mod –

What's that? Metta World Peace just got suspended for punching another player in the face? Right: The Los Angeles Lakers star who changed his name to World Peace got a one-game suspension for hitting Detroit Pistons' guard Brandon Knight in the face.

I went on YouTube to watch it, and I saw another incident from last season of World Peace clocking Oklahoma City Thunder's James Harden in the face as well.

I think it's great to change your name to promote world peace, but, you know, charity isn't the only thing that begins at home; and I just think that, if you're going to change your name to promote universal love and happiness, a good starting point toward that goal would be to stop pummeling people in the face.

I don't know if they still give out an "Optimist of the Year" award like they used to, but, if they do, I've found the perfect candidate.

He came and spoke during the speakers from the floor portion of the Guilford County Board of Commissioners meeting last week.

A young man who addressed the board told the commissioners that they need to have the school system switch school lunches entirely to organic food.

When I heard him say that, I was shocked – I had always just assumed that the schools already exclusively used organic food. I thought that's why you had to shell out $1.85 per meal for your kid to eat at school.

I mean, who knew school lunches weren't organic? I thought that whenever they served mystery meat on Mystery Meat Wednesdays, that that mystery animal had been raised antibiotic-free, grass-fed and had spent all its days roaming happily on the bucolic hillsides of the same farm for its entire life.

I'd always just assumed that. It had been speculation on my part. But you know what they say about speculating. Whenever you speculate, the saying goes, you make a spec out of you and, uh, lating – well, I'm not exactly sure what that means but, anyway, they say not to speculate.

The young speaker at the commissioners meeting also, no kidding, requested that the board remove fluoride from the water supply, and he also asked the commissioners to put "more Whole Foods stores in the black parts of town."

Commissioner Linda Shaw politely pointed out that, in order to get the fluoride out of the water, he would need to address the Greensboro City Council rather than the commissioners.

Shaw didn't say it, but that guy would also probably be better off addressing the organic lunch issue to the school board. And I'm still researching which government body is responsible for putting Whole Foods in the black areas of town.

Speaking of Whole Foods, I can understand why someone would want more Whole Foods built, no matter the color of the community. I really do love the stores; they're beautiful, the meats are great, the service terrific and the fruits and vegetables are a rich, deep color. I shop there all the time.

I was telling that to someone and she said she likes those stores too, but she added that she doesn't shop there.

I asked why not.

"I call them Whole Paycheck," she said.

There's been a lot of raging controversy in the media lately about whether or not whales can breathe underwater. The argument has been heated on both sides, but, perhaps, as Aristotle said, "The truth lies in the middle."

Now, on the one hand, there's no question that many whales simply cannot breathe underwater.

However, recently, John Hammer, the editor and publisher of The Rhinoceros Times, sent me an interesting tidbit.

He emailed me the Wikipedia entry for the "whalefish" – a deep-sea fish that lives at very great depths off the coast of New Zealand and some other places. The whalefish can breathe underwater and there's absolutely no question that it has "whale" in its name.

Also, another interesting fact I learned recently is that "Killer whales are actually dolphins." So, while unquestionably some whales apparently do breathe air and certainly cannot breathe water, it's also important to realize that some whales are actually dolphins and therefore, being dolphins, are in fact able to breathe underwater.

For over a year, I've been searching for the instructions for my washing machine, and I have looked everywhere for literally over a year.

A few days ago, I wasn't even thinking about finding the instructions – I'd basically given up – but I finally came across them.

When I found them, I thought to myself: "Oh, OK, no wonder I couldn't find the instructions – that explains it."

They were in my filing cabinet, filed under "W," in a folder labeled, "Washing Machine Instructions."

Right after the first of the year, they held the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas, where a lot of new cutting edge devices were on display.

You know how I'm always worried about the Rise of the Machines taking over? Well, here's a perfect example: It used to be that you told your fork what to do, but, at the electronics show, there was a new "smart fork" on display that tells you what to do.

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It used to be that you would tell your silverware what to do: You would say, to your fork, through your actions, "Here, take this piece of food and put it in my mouth."

And, unlike chopsticks, the fork would actually listen and do what you told it to.

Well, the new "smart fork" turns all that on your head.

Now, in the name of technology, there's a fork that orders you around rather than the other way around.

An article on PCWorld.com titled, "Smart fork says stop eating so fast," explained the new computerized culinary controller.

"Most people shovel their meals into their mouths too quickly for their bodies to process, which means the stomach still feels hunger even though it's full," it said. "HAPIlabs' electronic HAPIfork vibrates when you eat too fast, reminding you to slow down. The HAPIfork measures the length of time between bites, and how long it takes you to polish off your meal. The fork contains a USB drive that stores the information on your eating patterns so you can download it to the HAPIlabs app. The program also offers food coaching so you can change your eating behaviors."

The article also says the smart fork was "one of the breakout stars at this year's International CES, mainly due to its novelty" and says that the fork is "the first smart utensil on the market."

Popularity among the CES geeks aside, I'm certainly not buying it. Listen, if I need something cold, calculating and rigid monitoring my every move while I eat and telling me I'm doing it wrong, well, then I'll just get married again.

The other night I was watching, on the Travel Channel, the special about the making of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and I got a great idea from it.

This year, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Sports Illustrated, they sent models and photographers to each of the seven continents and they just put out all the pictures in a special edition.

For instance, they sent world famous supermodel Kate Upton and other supermodels to Antarctica and they got some great pictures of her on the ice with the penguins. My only complaint is that in some of the shots the bikini-clad models are obscuring the view of the penguins in the background, but other than that, it was a terrific pictorial.

While I was watching that show, my great idea hit me: I should use world-class supermodels for an upcoming Scott's Night Out, and take them all for photo shoots on each of the seven continents. We could go to Antarctica and Brazil and Fiji and so on …

I've been checking the rates for hiring world-class models. I've also been making the travel arrangements through some of the travel agencies that specialize in exotic locales. In addition, I've been checking the internet for the world's most striking destinations and I have been pricing some new high-end camera gear for the trip.

I'm very excited about it because it should be a lot of fun, and, really, the only remaining thing I need to do is check to make sure that The Rhinoceros Times is willing to bankroll the expedition.

Once that final formality is out of the way, get out your bikinis Kate Upton – Fiji here we come!