May 21, 2010The prize also remains the same as last year: One Free Year of The Rhinoceros Times and, also just like last year, we have arranged it so that, for the next 52 weeks, the winners can pick up their prizes at over 1,200 convenient locations all over town.
Yost Column, April 6, 2006
Each spring, I give out awards called the Yostie Awards honoring the best and worst of all that's happened in the previous 12 months. When I started thinking about this year's awards, I realized that through no fault of my own I had forgotten to give out Yosties last year. So that means a couple of things: (1) In this year's awards, I'll include, in addition to the winners of the last 12 months, some winners from the previous year as well, which is fiscal year 2008-2009 give or take, and (2) This year the Yostie Awards will be a two-parter, so keep an eye out for more awards upcoming. [Editors note: For those of you who are as confused as I am. Currently we are in fiscal 2009-2010, but the budgets that are being discussed are for fiscal year 2010-2011, and Scott is back nearly two years to fiscal 2008-2009. I hope that cleared things up.]
As I wrote once before, the winners of the Yostie Awards are chosen "based on any criteria under the sun that I want to use because, as the name implies, they're my awards to pass out."
It's been way too long since anyone got a Yostie, so, with no further to do, let's get on with the show. And the winners are
Best Red-eye Remover. Matt Sigmon of the Rhino Times' graphics department.
It used to be that, when I took pictures for Scott's Night Out, and I needed red-eye removed from a woman's picture, some of the graphics guys that worked here before Matt would do a terrible job removing the red-eye. When it comes to poor-quality red-eye removal, the graphic artist just takes a big black electronic brush and paints the eyes black and the women look all crazy-eyed which is a very bad thing, because it makes the pretty women look like demons.
But the women in the pictures don't get mad at the graphics guy; instead, they get mad at me, and they go: "Yost, why the [deleted] did you make me look like a demon?"
Recently, I showed Matt some examples of the worst of the worst demon-women pictures created by his predecessors who took red-eye out, and I said to him please don't let this happen.
Well, not long ago, I sent Matt a picture I was going to use and I asked him to take the red eye out. He sent the results back to me for approval. Here's what he sent
Five Most Played-out Things of the Last Two Years that Need to Please Go Away.
(5) Three-way tie for 5th place: Use of the word "synergy," the use of the phrase "at this juncture" and, the use especially at any type of meeting of the sentence, "I'm going to piggyback on what [he or she] just said."
(4) Scientists who promise that flying cars will "be here any day now."
(3) Penguin trappers
(2) The Miley Cyrus song, "Party in the USA"
(1) Joe the Plumber
Most Improved Guilford County Commissioner. Chairman Skip Alston. A couple of years ago, the last time the Yosties were handed out, Alston was an ultra-left, spend-spend-and-then-spend-some-more liberal commissioner.
Then, suddenly, right after the election of Barack Obama, Alston got a bad case of conservative right-wing religion, and he teamed up with Republican Vice Chairman Steve Arnold, and the two of them along with most of the rest of the board gave Guilford County the first county budget in years that didn't contain a property tax increase. And it looks like they're going to pull the same feat off this year as well.
Most Fun News Story to Cover. In January 2009, I reported that Kirk Perkins who had run for the office of soil and water district supervisor in Guilford County's November 2008 election was actually Kirk Newell, an ex-mental patient transient who ran for the seat under the assumed name of then Board of Commissioners Chairman Kirk Perkins, and who despite running no campaign whatsoever or even returning calls to reporters solely with that name recognition proceeded to win the election, but then never surfaced to claim the office.
Boy that was a fun story to cover and I got a lot of articles out of it. There were so many parts to the story.
Here's my favorite line from the first article in the series: "Perkins did set up a MySpace page for the campaign, but MySpace shut the site down because he was using it to make inappropriate comments to female MySpace users."
Soil and Water Cat with the Most Lives. Herb Hendrickson. Since the Perkins/Newell victory in the five-man race in 2008 was thrown out, you'd think that the second place winner of the race would automatically get that seat, but you'd be wrong.
If the election winner is unable to fulfill his duties as soil and water commissioner, it turns out, the law says that the soil and water district supervisor seat is filled by the existing soil and water board it doesn't go automatically to the second-place vote-getter.
And, to the surprise of no one, the board went with their old pal third-place candidate, but eight-year incumbent of that board Herb Hendrickson. Hendrickson is now thoroughly enjoying his place of power in the soil and water world and is partaking in all the perks that come with that position.
Worst Samurai Celebrity Cook-off Judge. Judge William Daisy, who wouldn't know a good table from a bad one if it were right before his very eyes biting him.
Best New Thing in the World. The iPad. A ton of people across the country and the world have bought one already, but the only person I know who actually owns one is Matthew Medaloni aka DJ Spinny who runs The Mix. Matthew was at The Rhino Times office the other day and he had his iPad with him and it is a very cool device indeed.
Just about everyone I know has almost bought one, but hasn't quite yet. I fall in that category as well. I went by the Apple store and spent some quality time with the iPad shortly after it came out.
It was a little heavy for my taste. (Rhino Times writer Paul Clark, who covers the schools and High Point for us, likes the weight because, he said, "It feels solid.")
I predict that this summer Apple will come out with a lighter version of the iPad and that they'll have worked out some of the kinks that always come with the first generation of any new product, so maybe I'll get one then.
However, the main reason not to get one quite yet is the fact that the iPod Touch really does all the same things iPad does, and it has the advantage that I can put it in my pocket and forget I have it with me until I need it.
Still, the iPad is ultra-cool so it gets a Yostie in addition to all the other acclaim it's managed to garner this year.
Best County Department Head. Register of Deeds Jeff Thigpen earns his $107,000 annual salary every year and, though, according to law, he literally isn't even required to show up at work, he jumped into the job head first as soon as he got into office. He began modernizing the deeds office, cutting staff, updating procedures and improving the technology. He's done away with about a half dozen positions in his office since he got there.
Remarkably, awhile back he held a workshop on e-filing that jam-packed the large big meeting room on the second floor of the Old Guilford County Court House. It drew in deeds people from all over the state. Only Jeff Thigpen could pack the commissioners meeting room with a seminar on some amazingly boring subject like e-filing a deed.
Best Party of the Last Two Years. It hasn't happened yet, and this is actually the first time a Yostie Award has gone to something that is still in the future, but The Rhino Times is holding a big blowout in High Point with Sleeping Booty on Saturday, June 19 this year. If you haven't seen Sleeping Booty, they are fantastic. Former Panther Cheerleader Dana Zimmer is the lead singer, and Sleeping Booty won a Yostie Award a few years ago as the area's best party band, and the band always puts on a great show, so especially those of you who live in the High Point area put it on your calendars and find all the information about the big day in The Rhino (page 17 this week, across from Scott's Night Out).
All right, that's it for this week; but, if you didn't win anything this time, don't fret because there are more awards to give out and yours may be one of them.