May 17, 2007Alright, let's let a few more Yostie Awards fly …
Most mysterious man in the county, perhaps the world: Joey Medaloni. Easily. When I first met Joey about three years ago I thought he was just some nice guy who owned some clubs downtown. But then, and I'm not kidding or making this up (at the time I wrote a whole column on it), President Bush came to speak in Winston-Salem and, as you can well imagine, the Secret Service was keeping the throngs of people around the stage safely away from the president – except, of course, for Joey, who was waved through past security and then he and the president just stood there, you know, discussing something for a good while and then Joey left.
Well, guess what they talked about. Just guess. Well, OK, now keep guessing because no one can find out. Joey is a very close friend of mine and he'll tell me everything, but I've asked and asked and, on this one, he won't say a word.
He was on the radio show a couple of days after the president's visit and Jack Murphy grilled him but couldn't get it out of him either. And, to be honest, I'm not sure I want to know, because I'm sure it's one of those things that Joey could tell me but then he'd have to kill me – or at least someone would have to kill me.
Oh, and later, no joke, Joey was spotted in the president's limo. (And I'm not positive but I have a hunch that, in addition to being the most mysterious man, Joey may be the most powerful man in the world.)
So, anyway, then the other night I drop by Much to wish Joey a happy birthday and there's Extra filming Joey for TV. Why? Well, Joey said we'll find out in June when it airs.
Here's another one. I swear this is true. Last year, my date and I were downtown late one night (and I don't think I even saw Joey that night) and I pulled her aside to this secluded place where no one could see us and we were kissing pretty good and then, a little later, we were having a late breakfast at Your House restaurant on Market Street at about 2:40 a.m. when my phone rang and Joey said knowingly, "Man, have you been having fun with [so and so] tonight, because it sure looked to me like you and [so and so] were really having fun earlier." So the hills have eyes. I mean the downtown walls. Probably Joey orders the president to keep a spy satellite trained on downtown Greensboro at all times.
I could give you lots more examples, but that's plenty enough don't you think. Trust me – it's all highly mysterious.
Joey is seriously considering running for mayor this year, and if I were you I'd vote for him if you know what's good for you because I'm pretty sure he'll end up knowing who voted for him and, even more important, who voted against him.
Guilford County employee with the best-known salary: Register of Deeds Jeff Thigpen.
Best at naming things award. This is a new Yostie Award category and it goes to Scott D. Yost for giving the new Teeter-Dome at Friendly its name. Oh, and for going over the head of the United States Supreme Court and getting Hemingway's its name back. Also for giving us the term "universal companion."
Oh wait, I almost forgot to mention that Jeff's salary is just over $100,000 a year.
Best upgrade to downtown nightlife in the last year: This goes to Rocky Scarfone and the N Club, (A) for adding big-name concerts to downtown (I saw Eddie Money, Chairman of the Board, 38 Special, Collective Soul and many others there in the last year), and (B) the fantastic new marquee that, as one passerby commented, "makes downtown Greensboro look like Times Square."
Best hair of the news people: Angela Rodriguez. Her hair always looks great. She lost out last week for Hottest Newscaster to Julie Luck, but she comes in first for best hair. Honorable mention: Leah Beno, for her brand new curly look, not the way it was.
Thing that VF Corp. CEO Mackey McDonald could do to most assure the continued success of that excellent company award. Hire local celebrity Meredith Kindl as an intern. Meredith is a highly impressive applicant and would be a great asset to any company even if she were not beautiful and magical. Anyway, I just have this unexplainable but overwhelming hunch that doing so would somehow create a lot of free, positive publicity for VF Corp.
Thing I like the most that initially I wanted the least. My MySpace page. Everyone was like, "You should get a MySpace page," and I was like, "No there are already too many ways that people can get in touch with me" – three email accounts;, cell phone, home phone, office phone (good luck trying that office phone thing by the way), instant message, text message, coming to Hemingway's on a Friday night between 10 and midnight and saying something, letter, telegram, singing telegram, fax, candy gram, etc., you name it.
The last thing I want, I said, is another way to communicate with people, so I didn't get a MySpace page. But then, awhile later, I got an email from a reader, and she said, "I was looking for you on myspace and realized you didn't have a myspace page so I made one for you – here's your password."
It was just this barren site with no pictures or anything and I thought, oh well, no big deal – I just won't use my page. But then, a couple of days later, I started getting emails from people. One said, "Your myspace page [stinks]," and then I kept getting mail from people who said how bad my MySpace page was and I could learn something by looking at Josh in the Box's page. So, then Generals cheerleader Melissa Smith filled out a bunch of information on the page and dressed the page up with pictures and wrote captions – and that's why the captions on the picture are like, "Here I am with my friends Jack Murphy and Josh in the Box," but then, if she's in a picture, the caption reads, "Here I am with the beautiful and wonderful Melissa Smith," or whatever. And so anyway, interestingly, I ended up ironically with a MySpace page that I had nothing to do with. But now I do check it and use it, and I like it.
Best decision by Scott D. Yost. Going to see Don Ho perform "Tiny Bubbles" in Hawaii. Technically this decision was made in 2005, but it was only during the last 12 months that we found out what a great decision it was so that's why it gets the award this year. On my last night in Hawaii, I had to decide between going to see Don Ho, or, something else I really wanted to do: go with some other media people to see the North Shore. When I was a kid I saw Don Ho sing "Tiny Bubbles" on The Brady Bunch and, at that time, I asked my mother who Don Ho was, and she said, "He's someone everyone goes to see when they are in Hawaii." And ever since I've had this amazing urge to see Don Ho sing "Tiny Bubbles" in Hawaii but I always figured he would die before I got the chance. Then, in 2005 The Rhino sent me to Hawaii for a week to follow the commissioners around at their taxpayer-paid-for convention. On my last night in Hawaii, some other media people were trying hard to get me to go to the North Shore with them, and I almost went but then I saw that Don Ho was performing. I loved Hawaii so I knew I was going to come back at some point and I knew the North Shore was going to still be there, but I wasn't quite so sure about Don Ho. So I went to see Don Ho sing "Tiny Bubbles" and it was fantastic. And then, a few months ago, I was watching TV and I saw that Don Ho had died, and I was like, "Yes! Now that's what I'm talking about."
Most important I've felt in the last 12 months: When I needed my birth certificate to get a new passport, I called the register of deeds and asked if he might cut me some slack since I was in a hurry and would he leave it up front for me with one of his underlings so I wouldn't have to wait in line, and he said no, no, and he insisted that he hand deliver it to my office. When he gave it to me he wouldn't even let me pay the fee – he had paid it out of his own pocket.
Honorable mention: walking down Elm Street and seeing myself and "Scott's Night Out" pictures on the N Club's electronic marquee.
Favorite exchange between county commissioners and a department head at a county commissioners meeting: This award goes to Alan Perdue, the county's Emergency Services director. At a recent meeting, the commissioners were made aware that Emergency Services had just filled 11 new positions for paramedics but there were no blacks hired and then the board's three black commissioners went on this long tirade, chastising Perdue for not hiring any blacks, and they just went on and on about how reprehensible that was and what an outrage it was.
Then, finally, another commissioner, Linda Shaw, asked Perdue how many black applicants there had been for the 11 positions.
"Zero," he said, which I thought was a pretty good answer.
Best way to end a column: Scott D. Yost. "Aloha."