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This is a statement from the Mildura police in Australia
Local police have been called to assist distressed motorists who have become stranded within the Murray Sunset National Park after following directions on their Apple iPhone. Tests on the mapping system by police confirm the mapping system lists Mildura in the middle of the Murray Sunset National Park, approximately 70km away from the actual location of Mildura.
Police are extremely concerned as there is no water supply within the park and temperatures can reach as high as 46 degrees [115 degrees Fahrenheit], making this a potentially life-threatening issue.
So the iPhone sends people into a 1,900-square-mile remote wasteland with scorching temperatures, no gas, no food, no water and virtually no cell phone reception.
So far, police in Australia say they've had to rescue five Mildura-bound vehicles with people who the app sent to the national park that's nowhere near Mildura.
One report said using the maps app could be "a death warrant."
In one case, a guy got stuck and was stranded with no food and no water. He had to get out of the car and he walked for a day and a night to get to an area where he could get cell reception.
Right now, the death toll remains at zero but it's certainly not from a lack of effort from the Apple maps app.
Do you think that's really just a glitch and not Apple maps trying to kill us? Well, if you believe that, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn you can jump off of. Is the maps app not working? Or is it working exactly the way it wants to work just as called for in Skynet's master plan.
Once you start to see the pattern everything begins to fall into place. Like, why is the navigation system on my RX-8 constantly telling me to make a U-turn on the highway right into head-on traffic.
And that's just the tip of the hat: All the other machines are in on it as well.
Even vending machines, on average, kill three people in the US each year. I once read that worldwide each year, more people are killed by vending machines than by sharks. They put their money in, the machine fails to release the Almond Joy bar or whatever, and so they shake the machine and it falls on them and kills them. If you think about it, it's highly alarming that a stationary, dim-witted machine full of candy or soft drinks can trick us to our deaths so easily.
As you go about your daily life and come across other devices and machines, like vending machines, see it for what it really is not a candy-dispensing aid of convenience to humankind with good will toward all, but, instead, a lurking deathtrap, waiting silently in the hallway nook or snack room cranny for the first chance to strike out and crush you to death.
Even my innocent looking toaster tries to kill me all the time. It keeps the toast from popping up and I get a fork out and I'm ready to jam it down in there, but then I catch myself and think, "Oh wait, I know what's going on my simple little toaster is trying to electrocute me."
I smile at it and shake my head knowingly, and I say, "Well played, my evil little friend, well played but this morning I have outwitted you to live another day."